What do you do when your marriage is failing?

I've been married for 15 years this month. Things have turned from fine, to ok, to unbearable. My husband doesn't want to be near me. He doesn't want to talk to me. He accused me of "cutting him off" because I didn't like a life-changing decision he has made that affects me and the kids. He is jaded and cynical and breaking my heart. We are in counseling. So far, it hasn't helped. I have no plan for where I would go, how I would support 3 kids 4 and under, how I would survive and it scares me to death that he is going to ask for a divorce within the next 6 months.

Trying to get help

My husband and I are having marital problems, related to our religion. We are LDS (mormons). My husband is having a spiritual mid-life crisis of sorts and wants to leave the church. I do not. We have started marriage counseling. I don't know if it will help (we've only gone one time). I hope it will help, I want it to help, but I just don't know. I've been reading lots of "mormon" blogs lately. Trying to get answers that I don't think my Bishop is capable of giving. He is a nice enough guy but new at serving as a Bishop and I just don't think he can think "outside the box" on issues. I could give some examples of counsel he has given friends, but I won't.

Suffice it to say, things are tough right now.

Blah

It is the January blahs. Although we haven't had any snow to speak of, I am still feeling it. Short tempered with kids, pent up in the house all day, nowhere fun to go, clothes that are too tight, the list goes on and on. And a marriage that is in a serious rough patch on top of it all. At least when February rolls around I can sense that spring will be upon us sooner rather than later.

Cowboy boots

Why do little boys (the 5 and under crowd) look so adorable in cowboy boots! I've just decided all of my boys need a pair!

Changes coming

I need an outlet. Maybe blogging will be it? I have a family blog which I love doing. Lately I've needed more. I don't want to be too personal on the family one, after all it is about the entire family. So this will be where I can be as personal as I want without fear of what my family or friends may think of me. I am a 35 year old woman. I am currently married and have 3 young sons. My world revolves around them. I am trying to change that starting in 2010. I need to do things for myself. I need to be me, not just mommy.
So here it starts.......