Today will be the first "official" visit where Sam picks up the kids after work and returns them prior to bedtime. It is an hour away and I already have butterflies.
Last night he unexpectedly stopped (he still has garage door opener) to pick up more clothes. It wasn't pretty. I had a discussion with almost 8 year old about understanding why dad didn't live here anymore. I was not in a good place because of having it.
Sam asked me casually, "so what are your birthday weekend plans?" "Birthday plans!" I balled and yelled at same time. "You are leaving me, I don't have any grand plans for my 39th birthday!" And I walked outside.
He treats this so casually. Like we can all be great friends. Him, me, family members, friends, Monica, whoever else may be involved with this family.
When I checked the bedroom where he is still storing stuff until he gets a place, I saw that he had taken sheets off bed to wash, folded up all blankets, put towels in clothes hamper. I had to wonder, did he feel sad it was his last night sleeping in the first home he ever bought?
He is just walking away from it all.....home, family, friends, security. To find this unknown and unseen happiness that has alluded him for 20 years. I wish him the best of luck. I am very sorry he put his kids second place to his own selfishness to be "happy". Who is happy? Really? Life is hard, we have to work, we have to pay bills, we get sick, kids have problems in school, family relationships get strained. Life isn't easy for anyone. But it seems this anyone who used to love me is walking away from a pretty damn good life.
Jesus, it sounds just like my husband. Do they all swallow a crazy pill which allows them to walk away from everything? I don't get it. http://dowehavetotellthekids.blogspot.com
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