My three loud, fun, crazy boys have left to spend the weekend with their father. He is living with his sister and her family until he can afford to get a place of his own. Which when he whined about that my response was, "not my problem. you want a divorce." But I digress....
When the door shut and I had waved until they were down the street I sat down in the quiet and tried not to cry. Yes this is needed for me and for them. It is incredibly hard to be the only caregiver except for a few hours a week when he shows up to see them. However, it doesn't change the fact that I would keep them close to me and shielded from these changes forever if I could.
I sat for a while. Then I needed to leave the house. A recently single friend told me that every Friday night when her STBX takes the kids, she gets a sandwich from Jimmy John's and a Redbox and sits in her bed eating and watching one movie, sometimes two if she is feeling crazy! :)
So I went to get my Jimmy John's. Then decided rather than a movie I could catch up on Mad Men on Amazon Prime. So once my sandwich is eaten I will hide in my bedroom with a huge Diet Coke and Don Draper to make me feel better.
Then I may just need to take 1/2 of a tranquilizer that my mom gave me so that I don't cry myself to sleep tonight alone in this quiet, quiet house.
My heart goes out to women everywhere who are experiencing separation and divorce. Nothing can prepare you for it.
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