December 29, 2010
Things are still very very difficult. Sam has made some terrible decisions and done some really bad things. He stayed with his best friend for a week and a half and then I let him come home. Probably earlier then he deserved to, but Christmas was coming.....
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Journal Backtrack 2010
September 14, 2010
Me: why won’t you tell me you love me?
Sam: It has been a tough year. I don’t know where I’m at.
This is why my self-esteem is at zero. I wish I had $10,000.00 in the bank, I’d be gone. Wish the kids were all in school, I’d be gone. Wish I’d never married him.
Me: why won’t you tell me you love me?
Sam: It has been a tough year. I don’t know where I’m at.
This is why my self-esteem is at zero. I wish I had $10,000.00 in the bank, I’d be gone. Wish the kids were all in school, I’d be gone. Wish I’d never married him.
Journal Backtrack 2010
July 18, 2010
Sam and I are in counseling. We’ve met once with S.D. as a couple and we’ve both gone alone. I like the counselor. Hopefully she’ll find out our underlying issues and help us. Last night when we went to bed Sam said to me, “I feel like a part of us died a long time ago”. Things like that that he says to me, crush me. I know he doesn’t love me as he used to. He won’t tell me he loves me, he says I am more committed to fixing the marriage then he is. It breaks my heart and my self-esteem. I pray things turn around, I don’t like the alternative.
Sam and I are in counseling. We’ve met once with S.D. as a couple and we’ve both gone alone. I like the counselor. Hopefully she’ll find out our underlying issues and help us. Last night when we went to bed Sam said to me, “I feel like a part of us died a long time ago”. Things like that that he says to me, crush me. I know he doesn’t love me as he used to. He won’t tell me he loves me, he says I am more committed to fixing the marriage then he is. It breaks my heart and my self-esteem. I pray things turn around, I don’t like the alternative.
Journal Backtrack 2010
July 2, 2010
I’m in a house full of noise and laughter and play and I’ve never felt so entirely alone and isolated. I think Sam has moved on emotionally and I don’t think I’ll get him back. I’m not ready to go it alone.
I’m in a house full of noise and laughter and play and I’ve never felt so entirely alone and isolated. I think Sam has moved on emotionally and I don’t think I’ll get him back. I’m not ready to go it alone.
Journal Backtrack 2010
July 1, 2010
1st Nephi 17:13 ‘And I will also be your light in the wilderness’
1st Nephi 17:13 ‘And I will also be your light in the wilderness’
6 weeks in
May 5th-date I asked husband to move downstairs. Since then it has been a roller-coaster.
Although he is the one who cheated on me, he wants to file for divorce. I told him to do it-that I wasn't going to. We've split assets/debts, settled on alimony/custody.
He has moved in with family.
I am in a house that I don't know how I can afford it.
I do not have a job.
I have three little boys who mean the world to me.
Although he is the one who cheated on me, he wants to file for divorce. I told him to do it-that I wasn't going to. We've split assets/debts, settled on alimony/custody.
He has moved in with family.
I am in a house that I don't know how I can afford it.
I do not have a job.
I have three little boys who mean the world to me.
Monday, February 1, 2010
What do you do when your marriage is failing?
I've been married for 15 years this month. Things have turned from fine, to ok, to unbearable. My husband doesn't want to be near me. He doesn't want to talk to me. He accused me of "cutting him off" because I didn't like a life-changing decision he has made that affects me and the kids. He is jaded and cynical and breaking my heart. We are in counseling. So far, it hasn't helped. I have no plan for where I would go, how I would support 3 kids 4 and under, how I would survive and it scares me to death that he is going to ask for a divorce within the next 6 months.
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